Megan, the girls, and I had dinner Monday night with Roger and Sharon Coleman and their kids. The Coleman's have been great comrades in ministry over the past many years (they led Journey Church in Granger), and are now moving to Arkansas to pastor there (something about Granger not being redneck enough I guess).
We had a craving for Cracker Barrel, so we met there. Insert our darling 4 ½ month old baby girl Hayden. Sleeping when we arrived, she awoke about 5 minutes later. She then decided that she had had enough of Cracker Barrel and commenced a screaming fit. Megan got up and walked around with her for a while, didn't help. I got up and walked around with her for a little while, to no avail…but…I did get some great advice.
Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel on a week night? It was full of Grandma and Grandpa's, foaming at the mouth to give advice. As I walked through the merchandise area, with my screaming child, it seemed like every one of these dear people had a piece of advice for me. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate those who have been there and done that…and I would say that the older folks sharing with the younger folks is even a Biblical concept…but I had to laugh as I was mobbed by these well wishers…here's what they said:
- Maybe she's hungry…no maam, she isn't supposed to eat for another hour.
- She must have gas…could be…could be…isn't it funny how we talk about such things when it involves a baby, but we would never talk about such when they are grown? When was the last time you walked up to someone in the lobby of the church and asked, "you don't look well…do you have gas?"
- When my grandbaby was 6 months old they found out that his intestines were all twisted and they had to go in through the bellybutton and redo everything and then they had to redo his bellybutton so that he would have one but it was b/c of the intestines being twisted that they had to go in in the first place…(run-on sentence on purpose…that's exactly what it sounded like)…oh really…that's horrible…poor guy…well, I think Hayden's intestines are ok…
- You need to take her to the doctor…have you been to the doctor?...yes maam…we actually had a doctor involved in the birth, as well as regular check-ups since…
- Here, let me hold her…(at which point I give the well meaning grandma a chance)…what you need to do is to hold her close to your chest and neck like this, see?...yes maam, that's the way she actually doesn't like to be held (as Hayden screams all the more and is now twice as loud as she was before I gave her to the dear lady)…
Ahhhhh…Cracker Barrel on a weeknight…
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